I’m Depressed and Frustrated!

Posted: August 21, 2016 by Patrice Miles in Miles In Missions, Patrice Miles

13690821_10210093947687511_4914253590860700852_nAll week long we had talked and planned our 2nd camping trip to Prayer Rock. The kids were so excited and so was I. Getting off the 30-acre compound and out of the routine of life here is always a joy. Upon arriving to the campsite we immediately saw the herd of Fulani cows at the bottom of the mountain. Lenny, the kids, and our visitors went to go ahead and trekked up the hill. Lenny and I decided letting our two dogs out was not going to be wise. I returned back to the compound to take the dogs home and on my way back I saw 3 more Fulani men heading for prayer rock on a motorcycle. It was dusk so I immediately knew they were heading to camp for the night.

Screen Shot 2016-08-21 at 12.22.59 PMWhen I returned, minus the dogs, sure enough, all the Fulani men had posted up camp at the bottom of the rock. I knew that the situation was not the best and needed to consult locals to see what their thoughts were on us camping with the Fulani so close. One phone call was all I needed as a friend asked us to leave immediately. We packed up everything we had put together, tents, coolers, chairs etc etc. Once home I called my friend back to question his advice. He advised me we had no interpreter and Fulani don’t understand English. He said that it would only take one misunderstanding between the two camps due to the language barrier and violence could break out. He also advised that even the calm Fulani are known for their thievery and it wasn’t wise to sleep through the night with such a temptation for them only steps away.

14051633_10154360538573808_7028779177413224274_nWe were all so disappointed. Just another time we try at planning something fun for our family to be together and it doesn’t work out. I tried to make the best of it for the kids and we made s’mores in the oven and I promised pancakes in the morning. The s’mores were wonderful but the morning revealed we had no flour for pancakes and of course there is no grocery store or Bisquick available, HAHA!

As the morning went on it was time for church and we realized our DVD collection of sermons were finished. We had watched them all. Internet was 5 bars and 3G so we thanked God and started streaming a sermon. It lasted only about 10 minutes and then the buffering stopped. Everyone knows what that means. Stop and go, stop and go of the worship music and sermon. “God really! We just want to worship you! Why are you making this so difficult? We wanted a little family time last night and a little time with you this morning. Is that too much to ask? Can we please get a break?”

13700002_10154277263108808_4633544139304731361_nThere is so many times like today that I just want to close up shop and stop trying. I just want to eat a bowl of sugar, go to bed, and loose myself in a book for hours. I am so spoiled rotten. Just because I didn’t get to go camping and the Internet didn’t work I am depressed and frustrated. I live in Africa and am surrounded by people with no food, no clothes, no education, poor health and a faith that is only skin deep. What am I complaining about? I am so selfish! It was then I realized that I have let Satan trick me again. Trick me into not seeing his handy work pushing at my buttons. Pushing at exhaustion, boredom and a sense that I deserve everything b/c I am serving the Lord in Africa. He so easily swindles his way in through my circumstances and tries to get me down. Does he do that to you? Does he know your buttons and push them? I read somewhere that we should be proud to know that Satan tries to push our buttons because he doesn’t care about anyone unless they are important to God…unless they are a threat to him. I don’t know how I feel about that? I do know that I am grateful today for recognizing the true culprit in the last 48hrs of my life. I am capturing my thoughts and throwing them out. Satan will not win this battle today!  Don’t let him win one over on you either!

  1. Mary Eicher says:

    I am so proud of you for keeping your life in tune with our Jesus. Believe it or not you feel the same way sometimes in the U.S.A. Know you all stay in my prayers. Give the family my love too. Old Grandma in Texas

  2. Lois Clark says:

    Patrice, I received letter and photos from Friday. Excited to see him holding class photo and salvation bracelets. We have new class now and will continue our prayers for Friday. I shared with Rema. Thanks

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. Kristin Henderson says:

    Way to turn it around and recognize it was Satan. Don’t let h steal your joy !

  4. Sylvia Eikenberry says:

    Thank you for sharing an experience that was frustrating because sharing it helps others to identify with you. Not all days on the mission field are triumphant. Living in Jos, I experience the electricity being out, internet off, no water, and also other small frustrations and disappointments. But it is good to be reminded that in the over all picture of things, we have much to be thankful for. Hopefully you will get another family outing soon. Blessings to you there in Egbe. S Eikenberry

  5. Tracy Butts says:

    Love this Patrice!!! Agreed!!! I can sooo relate!!! ☺️☺️Always trying to get some much needed family time with mine!!! Always a challenge!!! You & your sweet fam are doing an amazing work with the folks there in Egbe!!! Praying for you guys!!!!

    Tracy Butts

  6. Jolene says:

    I have such a smart daughter! Of course I would prefer to be there to comfort you when you are worn and weary but learning from the Father that He is your everything – is everlasting!

  7. Cindy Warren says:

    Your honest reflections always inspire me. I move in and out of what you described. We just moved off the mission field into a parsonage. It is small or large – beautiful or simple- home or a house we don’t own- however I want to view it. It’s a gift from God and a beautiful one! That’s my chosen view on it. Of course I’m ashamed to feel any different. We have more than any of my Filipino friends in ministry will ever dream of having. Even just having central air should make me elated!

    I just came home from the hospital with Harley a few days ago. He had a very successful open heart surgery. Something happened inside my heart though and I felt like our home was so small! I guess the spacious hospital made my home feel small but I’ve seen that ugly discontentment rear itself before. I don’t think it was anything but that. Of course I was extremely fatigued too. Not content with what I have isn’t ok. I do not like my American mindset or my own selfishness
    I was sharing that feeling with my daughter in law and she said she was wondering how long it would take me to change my view. She had just heard my daughter say something about traffic being bad in the states too. Abbie had been driving in Manilla traffic. That is definitely bad traffic! Our daughter in law just came back from ElSalvador. She knows she’s got it good compared to so many too and sees how easy it is to lose focus. She knows she struggles with that too.
    It is amazing how Satan lies to me and I grasp hold of it. Master deceiver! Glad he isn’t the victor in your life and mine.
    Going to feel blessed and utilize all I have for Him. Everything is a gift from the Heavenly Father. All good and perfect things come from him. This home is going to become my favorite because wherever God has me at the present is where I am to soar!
    You are a blessing to me. Thanks for sharing your faith and ministry.

  8. Thank you, once again, for your honesty, Patrice. And for reminding us all that our only true satisfaction is found in Jesus. I hope you guys can have a camping trip soon. Bless you!

  9. Susan Snyder says:

    Our situation is so totally different right now — but I can so totally relate. Thanks for your honest.

    Blessings and love,


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