Miles In Missions

You might be a Missionairy in Africa if….
1. you know how to pop mango worms out of your dog.
2. your shirts smell like BO and you don’t care becuase you smell like everyone else.
3. you go weeks without shaving your legs, armpits or facial hair.
4. your kids ask nonchalantly if the nail boys are going to kill you as you are stopped on the side of the road getting harassed.
5. you feed your dogs chicken bones daily.
6. you have to tell your kids friends not to sh_t in your front yard.
7. you carry a role of toilet paper, hand sanitizer and bug spray in your purse everywhere you go.
8. your child and his friends carry a machete wherever they go.
9. everyone’s legs in the family look like they have visited an acupuncturist from all the mosquito bites.
10. your guard asks if he can eat your cats.
11. your 8 year old daughter receives marriage proposals everywhere she goes.
12. you blow dry your hair next to your generator, as that is the only source of electricity.
13. you are excited to receive chickens, goats, fruits and vegetables as gifts.
14. you de worm your kids along with your dogs.
15. you hear the “f” word from the church pulpit.
16. you smell something burning and you don’t jump up to see what it is.
17. you can’t stand other missionaries.
18. you reuse water bottles and ziploc bags at least 10 times.
19. you stop taking anti-malaria medicine.
20. your amazon prime has at least 20 plus shipping addresses in it.
21. you eat processed foods and get sick.
22. you make Ebola jokes when someone has a fever.
23. you tell your kids before they go to bed to brush their teeth and wash their feet.
24. you hear screaming at night and don’t worry becuase it is just the local church night vigil.
25. you can fit your entire family on a motorcycle.